Five Things I Learned From Watching The Bachelor With Jason Mesnick

The Bachelor Jason Mesnick and Son Ty

The Bachelor Jason Mesnick and Son Ty

At 9:58 last night I loved Jason Mesnick. At 10:03 I hated him. For those of you lucky enough to NOT have wasted hours of your life following Jason’s search for love on ABC, he’s the Bachelor for this season. I truly believed, and so did most of the women in America, that Jason Mesnick was a good guy, a single dad from Seattle that had been wronged by several women in his life. He often showed his softer side by crying when he was forced to let women go.

But last night after we watched Jason propose to Melissa and make the choice we all hoped he would make, Jason dumped poor Melissa on national television in the “After the Final Rose” special. He then proceeded to tell Molly, the 2nd place girl that he was still in love with her. Molly being the classy girl that she is started making out with him on the same couch Melissa just got her heart stomped on. I went to bed feeling angry, cheated and disappointed with myself for investing so much time into this dumb show. But as I searched for the positive side of the situation, here are five things I realized I learned from watching the Bachelor with Jason Mesnick.

Tears don’t mean someone is sensitive. I tend to be very trusting of people and if they cry, I feel bad for them. When Jason cried I interpreted it as genuine concern for the women. Nope. Jason is just immature.

Editing can make someone into anyone. Then I started to think maybe Jason wasn’t that great all along. Maybe it was just really, really, really good editing.

Watch out when you break up with a woman on national TV. Just out of curiosity I did a quick search on Go Daddy and someone has already purchased IhateJasonMesnick.com. Was it Melissa? Was it Gillian? At this point I think it could be any woman in America.

I watch too much reality TV. I see it as entertainment, a way to relax after a day of work. But after last night I feel like it is a waste of my precsious life.

I am so blessed. I have a great husband who was just as mad at Jason as I was. My husband is geniune, loving, and committed: three things Jason Mesnick is not.

The Bachelor just highlights the main reason why you should go to God to help you find your soul mate, not reality TV. Ok, I feel better now.

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57 Comments

Filed under Friends, life, Marriage

57 responses to “Five Things I Learned From Watching The Bachelor With Jason Mesnick

  1. I LOVE your article on “The Bachelor”! You made me feel so much better! THANK YOU!

  2. jeffnearlife

    wandered over here since your blog was listed among the featured ones. I love your points here. I don’t personally watch the show, but I did see all the folks bitching and complaining about it.

    I loved your point especially about guys crying. You’re viewing those tears through the lens of a woman. A guy who cries in front of people is not someone to be trusted. He’s not “the rock” that a man needs to be to survive and be a good husband and all that jazz. Not that you want someone who has all their emotions bottled up.

    To me, as a man, if he’s crying about all the hurts he has in his life HE’S NOT OVER THEM. He needs to spend some time moving past his past so he can be worth a damn to someone else. Just my two cents.

  3. griffing

    My sentiments exactly. How do you spell Jason? … J-E-R-K.

  4. I couldn’t have said it better myself! Jason is a moron. Thanks for a great post!

  5. cadevine

    I totally agree with your comments on the Bachelor. I watch to much reality tv also. 🙂

  6. rlevisman

    As a man, husband and father to both a boy and a beautiful little girl, I can only hope she never falls for a jerk like Jason. I watched the show on and off, but did not get really into it. I’m so glad now! Jason was a total A@#..He tore that poor girls heart out on national t.v.

    For those who believe he did the right thing following his heart instead of stringing her along, bull sh@#! All his decision tells me is that he has poor judgement…”Ooops, I picked the wrong girl. Maybe I can get a “shot” at the other..Immaturity, bad judgment, total jerk!

  7. I have a hard time reasoning why anyone would watch any farce called “reality TV.” The world is filled with street reality. TV tripe is just that, junk filtered through the bowels.

  8. tealadydarla

    Well said, Honey! I agree completely. I quit watching The Bachelor after the second or third season, when my husband pointed out what an awful show it was. Ahh, but there was so much drama. It was hard not to watch. But alas, I agreed when I figured there just was no way a guy could fall in love with one woman while he was involved with an entire harem of women at the same time. Think about it. This is the perfect description of relationships being built on all the wrong stuff…namely lust, rather than time, commitment, and a multitude of real life experiences together as a team. The Bachelor is a hoax. So next season find a better way to spend your evenings.

    Blessings-

    Tea Lady D

  9. I wouldn’t say go to god, but I would say don’t go to Reality Television.

  10. letters2soulmate

    I loved this article and I, too, felt the same way after watching the show. It’s scary sometimes how much Hollywood can blur the line between reality and make believe. This makes me wonder about the content of my own blog as well. It’s an epistolary style blog essentially about letters to my soulmate, and as I sit here and write to you I feel so many conflicting emotions about men in general. But the difference between true love and what we all witnessed last night, as you highlighted, is that one was “as seen on tv.”
    I love your blog, by the way- you look so gorgeous in your wedding dress!

  11. i missed the “After the Final Rose” special. can’t believe jason dumped melissa for molly. i’m in shock. i watch the show on and off, but totally agree with all your points.

    this show in particular is so not realistic. why would any girl fall in love with a guy that’s just gone through 25 girls. in that short amount of time, i don’t see how you can really know someone. and for all those dates and trip they took, would that really happen if they were not on tv?

  12. Don’t watch it but seem to know what is going on thanks to the Soup. Melissa (or anyone on a reality dating show) should look at the track record of these types of shows. How many actually end up marry the person that chose them. She chose to go onto a show where multiple women fight for one man. And under contrived conditions expect to fall in love.

    It serves to stroke the man’s ego so in the end none of them are good enough. So don’t put all the blame on the guy (or in the case of Bacherlorette the lone woman).

  13. toriskateing84

    omg…i watched it tooo …..and i flipped when he dumped melissa for that homo molly…….but i loved it when melissa called jason a baastard!!!!!!

  14. yoyoandhoops

    You are absolutely right!

    p.s. Beautiful Wedding dress!

  15. Catie

    oh my word! i felt the exact same way. all the cliches he was throwing out there all said the same thing, “I am not a man, I am a boy. I fell for the other woman’s eyes and body and I want her back.”

    And I must say that I agree strongly with your last statement. Go to God for the one you should marry, He already has that person tailored made for you.

  16. I will probably break your heart again by revealing to you that reality shows are partially or even totally scripted:(

  17. KatBenet

    Amen sister… especially the part about God 🙂

  18. William Newman

    I am so glad I did not waste my time on this show. The program has gone downhill after the Firestone season. Time for ABC to kill it and move on. Hopefully blogs like this from meaningful people will tell network and cable tv execs to stop spewing garbage over the airwaves.

  19. Letter to Melissa (From the Bachelor):

    Kitten,
    I am hoping you read the great blog above and it made you smile. Many of us are disgusted with Jason’s behavior and the way you were treated. Just know we are all thinking of you, and hoping for the best for you!

    If you would like to go out on the town (to forget about Jason Mesnick), just let me know…I’ll bring the party supplies!

    Steph
    http://www.TheHouseofBachelorette.com

  20. morningaftershow

    great post. this was the first time I had ever watched the bachelor. My girl and I picked up when there were just the four girls left and and got suckered in. We had looked forward to the final show… then three HOURS later it was a big WTF?

    so first and LAST time I waste life force on the Bachelor. (well I *might* try the bachelorette if they pick Gillian to host it!).

  21. Great article.
    I, myself, don’t watch the show, but I’ve heard much hype about it. It’s good to hear that someone can take the positive out of a negative situation (or show, for that matter =]).

  22. noamgr

    are you people serious?
    you have sympathy for someone who’s looking for love on a reality TV show?

    … how’s about they are ALL idiots who deserve what they got.

    “You’re viewing those tears through the lens of a woman. A guy who cries in front of people is not someone to be trusted.”

    no, you’re viewing life through the lens of a moron.


    http://noamgr.wordpress.com

  23. bookncurls

    I completely agree. Thanks for writing that.

  24. finderskeifers

    I agree with tealadydarla. Bachelor is a hoax, phony relationships set up for ratings. The principals are all acting. Review the tape with that in mind. J’s crying jag is excruciating. Melissa’s parents are the wisest of all. And you know why.

  25. asmalltowndad

    I watched it for the first time last night and my first question is how can someone that supposedly loves two women to the point of can’t make up his mind, turns around and proposes marriage. Couldn’t he had said I’m not sure, so lets give it some time?

  26. yesterdaywazbetter

    i am so glad i didnt wasted my time on this show…. last night was the first time i saw this show and even in between i told my sister that the girl he is dumping he is gona go back to her….

    an immature donkey!

  27. enigmaticblogger90

    Yeah… He’s a total ***. All reality dating shows are kinda like that though 🙄

  28. annespeelman

    What a great post! I didn’t even watch the bachelor and I was appalled! What a jerk!

    reality tv does rot your brain, but that didn’t stop me from watching True Beauty. Those people where stupid!

  29. yesterdaywazbetter

    it was sucha retarded show ….
    he is kissing two girls and making out with them on a national tv and then says he is confused….

    well some guys want to have two pies and they cant be satisfied on one…..

  30. briefhiatus

    Great post!

    I didn’t even watch the whole season (only 2 episodes), but figured I would catch the finale. What a waste of time and what a scumbag! He probably only likes Molly because he’s remembering the highly manipulated romantic situations with her. I’m sure in the ‘real world’ he’ll be bored with her too in 6 weeks!

  31. maidenking

    Why didn’t he just pick the woman he wanted in the first place? Sounds like a scripted show to me: they get all the viewers rooting one way, then have the main character make a surprising switch. TV people never want a predictable ending.

    Don’t worry about it. It’s not reality, it’s TV.

  32. I like your points. I didn’t watch but one episode because it is not my kind of show but I did catch last nights breakup makeout session.

    If one wants to find true love it is not by making out with 10, 20 (how many was it) girls on national tv. Jason is of course going to have mixed emotions because groping and kissing equal giving ones heart away.

    I give him a month or two with this chick before he wants to try one of the other ladies.

    I agree with you that one should go to God when seeking out their mate.

    Jason is probably not that bad of guy he just was stupid for trying to find his wife on ABC.

  33. OMG…great post!
    I saw this saga and I TOTALLY felt cheated because I believed what I saw between him and Melissa at 9:58 pm was really real. The editing certainly made it feel that way. My heart goes out to Melissa, the poor girl! But, probably…better off after all of this!

  34. umm it’s only a reality show that’s umm err staged!

  35. Renee

    I think he did what he felt in his heart was right for him and Ty. I don’t think he should have done it on TV, but you could tell when Melissa came out that she had changed from her “cheerleader” smiling, jumping on him to win the “game” of catching his heart to this miserable little girl. She looked mean, before anything was even said???

    I thought he should have picked Molly from the beginning, so I’m happy!!! I hope they last forever!

  36. moderndaymarta

    I pretty much 100% agree with you. I stood up for Jason over the past few weeks as his admirers diminished to just a few and now I’m completely off the bandwagon myself.
    I live in Dallas and I hope to see Melissa out sometime so I can buy that girl a drink!

    I also agree with letting God choose. I’ve been waiting around for years now…who knows, it may never happen but at least I know I’m waiting on His timing and single or married my life will be sweeter because of it.

  37. Talula

    I don’t watch the Bachelor, but this morning what happened last night was all over the radio and all anyone was talking about but no one explained anything! Thank you for your article! I feel back in the loop!
    P.S. What an A-Hole!!

  38. I am not a faithful Bachelor watcher but every time I saw this guy he was making out with a different girl. I wrote him off at flakey long ago and stopped watching.

  39. You go girl! On my blog I have a post called ” Men In Waiting” about how men need to step up and be leaders. After watching last night, it was like a living example. I pray for this man…he is going to need a lot of it. 😛 He needs to work on his leadership relation skills

    And all my guy friends feel the way your husband does. I think it was sad because now women will look at the show and think: And that’s why I don’t like dating.

    In love,
    joyfulpraisegirl

  40. Maggie

    I had not watched a single complete episode of the season but I watched last night because it happened to be on the TV in front of my at the gym so I was hooked and had to watch it once I got home. Thankfully, I didn’t have to watch the tramp massage session since I was in my car during that. As I watched Jason dump Melissa, I felt like my heart was being ripped out. I couldn’t believe it!

    To have someone say “I’m still in love with____” is heart breaking – I know, I was there last summer and all of my emotions of ‘grrr’ came right back as I watched what how cold Jason was to Melissa. You could tell she was angry and hurt and rightfully so. I stupidly felt rotten the entire day thinking about my own past situation and likely will again tonight as I watch the second follow-up (because I just have to now!)

    It just proves once again that some men don’t know what they want and are willing to hurt anyone in order to satisfy themselves. Notice I said ‘some’… here’s hoping that’s true.

  41. datingcoach1

    As a dating coach, I was as disturbed as you and sent out my own Blog regarding this horrifying depiction of a selfish man who lacks empathy for other people. I sure hope things work out of Jason and Molly because he is going to be one of the most hated men in America. Note to Melissa and DeAnna: You both dodged a bullet! Consider yourselves to be very lucky!

    Jeannine Kaiser
    America’s Dating Coach

  42. “The Bachelor” is Dating Polygamy. I didn’t watch this season of The Bachelor at all but found myself sucked into last night’s finale. I felt so disgusted and dirty after watching the “After the final rose” special. Of course, what do we expect from someone who dates 20 women at once and is supposedly in love with at least two at the same time? How can a man find true love when he’s not truly invested in a single one at a given time? I’d be confused too!

    The Bachelor is a truly horrible show that we all (myself included) watch purely out of voyeurism and not because anyone can find true love while essentially practicing dating polygamy.

    And why do we call it “reality TV?” In the real world any guy who dated multiple women at once, including considering marriage to two of them within a matter of minutes, would be considered an all out schmuck. Any woman who dated a guy who she knows is involved with another woman would be considered to have no self-respect. Yet somehow it becomes a great idea when it takes place in New Zealand and is on national TV. I too am thankful for my husband of 10 years, who was pretty annoyed at me for actually watching the show last night. His disgust was well placed.

  43. Great article! I couldn’t have said it better myself.

  44. I was furious last night too when that happened.. but today, I got to thinking about it… WHAT IF Melissa has genital herpes? Maybe she didn’t tell him during the show… maybe she didn’t know about it until after the show was over, during the 6-week break…

    All I know is, Jason was not himself the first half of the after-show… He had this look on his face that said, “I know I’m going to look like a complete ass, but all I can say is, I no longer feel the same way. I would just come right out and say MELISSA HAS THE HERP, but I don’t want to embarrass her any more than I have to in front of millions of people.”

    Just a theory…

  45. Janine Cairo

    Wow you nailed it on the head. I really thought this guy was the real deal, and then to watch him tell the other guy “no she has a right to be mad at me” I was like hell yeah she does. You are a douche! Duped. That is how I feel. And every time I get dissapointed by this show, I alway’s say the same thing, and then I watch the next season 😦 only to be dissapointed again. And Molly…I new she would go for the bait…it was all bad. Great page btw!

  46. sweetlifeconfidential

    ahaha. you are so right! clever little blog. all best. xo

  47. Ali

    Thanks everybody for your awesome response to my post! I hope you come back to The Honeymoon Phase often!

  48. I did not invest much time in this season. But the “after the rose” show was on when I walked in the house last night, so I know enough about the happenings with Jason to suspect that not only was the show well edited as you point out, it may also have been well scripted. While I have suspected that these shows are not just produced for TV, they may literally be PRODUCED. I found myself not fully believing all the set up with one girl getting dumped, the other waiting back stage without any foreknowledge, and the guy simply “following his heart” by dispatching one in hopes of hooking up with the other.

  49. i just stumbled across you and you just may be my new fav. blog!
    amen sista!!!!!
    i wasted my time! (although we only have one channel and with a 1 yr old this is my “break time” (the only time of the day that i SIT so not a total waste, but mostly!))

  50. Kitten,
    I just sent your blog to:

    Oprah
    The Late Show
    The Today Show
    Ellen

    Your blog is SO GREAT and these comments are so hilarious, I think they just HAVE to see them!

  51. I never liked Jason, but I am glad I watched last night’s episode. One of the more interesting reality show episodes I’ve seen in a while. You’re right, he is immature, and he doesn’t know what he wants. He would have been fine with either girl, but he is apparently obsessed with making the wrong decision.
    And thinking that you can find your “soulmate” within a pick of 20 girls is naive too. If he was looking for good enough, he would have found it there. I’m not sure he knows what he’s looking for.

  52. Ben Costa

    Yeah, and WWE Raw is real too.

    I mean why would people make up stuff on TV and call it real if it wasn’t?

    Reality TV continues to spoil the minds of adults and children in our already dumbed-down country.

  53. finderskeifers

    Alec Baldwin’s Hollywood Sign alien portal commercial explains it all. Be ready to have your goopy brain scooped like cottage cheese.

  54. rlevisman

    good point Orlick.

  55. Pingback: After the Final Rose Part 2: Bachelorette Comments Vs. My Blog’s Comments « The Honeymoon Phase

  56. I’ve not thought the word immaturity to describe the situation, but it fits perfectly! If he had respect for Melissa he would have found a way to do it privately. She was right to say all the things she did to him. She was taking it as serious as she could given that it was a reality show, but it just proves that he is still wanting to have fun and not really in it for good. By the way, did anyone else realize that he has already proposed 3 times… his ex-wife, Deanna, and now Melissa. It’s kinda funny that none of his relationships seem to be working. Who is the real Jason?

  57. Pingback: A Delayed Year in Review « The Honeymoon Phase

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